My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
