I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
