youre lurking in front of me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
