Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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