i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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