He asked to "fluff my boner.."
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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