If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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