it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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