so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
