I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
