mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
