I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
