Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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