this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize