I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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