I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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