Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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