I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
