Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
