Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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