I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
