Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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