it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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