Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize