The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am one with the molecules
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
