i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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