It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
