last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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