Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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