bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
