So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
