he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
