I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
