Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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