not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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