he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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