I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need a beard to bite.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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