ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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