she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
