So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
