Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
