I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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