You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Green mimosas i think yes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
