Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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