maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
