now i know why i became what i already was.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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