maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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