before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
