I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How's work?
Spinning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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