when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
