did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had sex on a roof
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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