You really coming over, don't trick.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
