I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
