Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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