Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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