Sponge bath it is.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize