no, he came in my armpit
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
