It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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