my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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