fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize