If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
