i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
