MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
