My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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