that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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