theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
