"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
